Reception of information
While three main components are needed to achieve clear communication between people (i.e., information delivery, information receipt, and information management), my intent with this article is to address only the receipt of information.
In some areas of psychology, receiving information is known as listening skills. Not so. In some communication interactions, observing behavior is just as important in evaluating information as it is in listening.
Receiving clues and listening to the other person’s facts and feelings about the conflict is about one-third of the skills and strategies needed to solve problems. There are always two sides to a dispute. As in sales techniques, there is the buyer’s point of view and the seller’s proposals.
You have information on your side and to establish a win/win position for both parties, you must listen carefully and observe the information the other person has.
At this point I would like to differentiate between what is contained in the procedures for interaction of people and what is in the process.
Content vs. Process
In any sales procedure, or dispute between two people, the content is the substance of the interaction (the behavior in question, words and actions).
Process is the way words and actions are USED to change behavior. So the process is really the skills used to change the content. The content is what is happening. The process is how the method for the change is carried out, or if preferred, the procedure or style used to effect the change.
And this is important; Why?
When receiving information about the facts and feelings of another person, it is necessary to understand what the actual content is, and not the way in which the facts and feelings are presented.
You may have heard someone described as a person whose “mouth is worn, but whose ears are new.” Such a person does not listen or observe what is happening in an interaction. In the case of a dispute between two people, the result of poor information detection is that the dispute often escalates.
Properly assessing the content of another person’s position in a conflict circumstance reduces aggression and illuminates the other person’s problems with the dispute at hand.
The way this is done (the process) can be awkward and under-skilled, so the debate escalates.
In such cases, it is not the content of the problem at hand, but the way the problem is handled that causes resolution difficulties. By addressing the differences between content and process, in a conflict circumstance, much of the aggression present can be minimized.
Visual cues to receive information
The most obvious identification of the other person’s attitude, regarding their disclosure of information and their negative behavior toward you, will often become apparent from their physical cues.
Viewing physical content is relatively easy. With lack of acceptance of your information, or aggression, the other person presents a large posture (with the intention of intimidating), with threatening or advancing gestures, loud voice, angry expression and fixed eye contact.
The first and basic premise for powerful information reception is that there must be concentration on the type of physical posture displayed in the exchange of information.
On the Internet you are trying to make a sale or close a venture with a positive result for you. In conflict resolution you are trying to change a behavior that affects you and makes you feel bad. Any signs of aggression, anxiety, or frustration should be reduced before attempting to modify behavior or make a sale.
Any result that is not a positive result FOR YOU is a failure.
For the best possible result, you must listen and observe information about how the other person is feeling. Before attempting to solve a problem, reduce any visible or verbal negative emotions.
Listen and watch carefully during the interactive period and one third of what it takes for powerful communication will be accomplished.