Linda writes:
I have a little problem, I am in a relationship with a man (my husband) who looks more like a girl than a man. I mean he’s quite a man, but he always wants things that a girl would want. For example, you need a lot of attention when you do something. Say, he does a chore around the house, he always asks if it was done right. I say yes and he asks me again in another way. When he cooks, he cooks very well, but while we eat, he asks several times if the food is good. He wants to be served all the time in special ways. He wants his feet and back rubbed. He is not very proactive and I have to ask him to do things often. Says it’s okay to scold him if he forgets things. I have a small baby and I feel like I have a big baby too! I don’t want to scold, I don’t want to be a servant. I don’t want to do all the work, and I don’t want to have to affirm it every time you do something if you do it! Help! It’s driving me crazy!
My answer:
Hi Linda, no problem!
If your boy is acting like a girl, if he is in girl energy, in reception mode.
I was just his girl.
Demand more of him.
Ask him what he’s asking for, just be a little more aggressive.
If you always want a foot massage, before I can ask you, put your feet on your lap and say, “It would feel so good if you rubbed my feet.”
If it’s a back rub, lie on his lap and ask him to rub your back.
Or when you want a cup of tea, say “honey, it would feel so good to have a hot cup of tea. Can you use my special brown mug”? “Say I feel so special when you do that for me, appreciate when you do this or that.”
He’s the guy who should be doing things for you and nurturing you.
That is the masculine energy.
If he doesn’t want to do it for you, just sit down, be a girl.
If this gets under your skin, just go to the other room and do it yourself, and stay there.
Do something else.
Clean a drawer.
Make yourself a sandwich, keep busy.
Take care of yourself, not him.
It’s okay to do things for each other in a relationship, but remember this is a partnership.
You are not his mother, nor his maid, nor the cleaner of his house.
They are two adults on level ground and the associations are a mutual conversation.
If he was a girlfriend who always required you and didn’t give you back, you would leave her like a hot potato, then why is this any different?
It is girl energy to receive from your masculine energy.
If you are not helping around the house, if you ask him to scold you, ask and demand, here is an idea;
Make a to-do list, divide what you are willing to do.
Say “honey, I have some things that make me feel frustrated, when is a good time to talk about it”?
Say “there are things that need to be done, I’ve made a list. The ones with checks are the ones I’m willing to accept, and can you do the ones that aren’t marked”?
If so, great!
If after a while it doesn’t help, if he says no or makes an excuse, say …
“If you don’t want to do the housework, we have to hire someone once a week to come and do it.
What do you think “?
If you don’t want to do the job, you may want to hire someone.
What if you don’t like or don’t let you hire someone?
You may want to examine other parts of his life and understand if there are other situations that he is covering that he is not associated with.
This can be a start to understanding why you are there and what needs to change.
Sometimes superficial difficulties are a sign of deeper problems.
This may lead to counseling or training.
If you need help with training,
I would love to hear from you.
I am a Rori Raye Certified Trainer!
I am very excited to use your tools and some of my own to help you.
Find the love of your life and find the desires of your heart