Jealousy and insecurity can wreak havoc on any kind of relationship. These toxic emotions create toxic relationships and can take away any chance of living the life you’ve always wanted.
Your life may be filled with people who are draining your energy due to an incurable case of jealousy.
How can you tell if your partner has an extreme case of jealousy?
Here are some ways to tell if your partner is having an extreme case of jealousy that could wear you down in relationships. They will do some or all of the following:
- tell you how to dress; acting, hair, etc.
- Worry too much about where you go when you socialize;
- He insists on accompanying you to mundane places like the grocery store;
- Interfere or veto their social plans;
- Making excessive phone calls to find out your whereabouts;
- Be intense in everything;
- Being unable to communicate and discuss anything with you;
- He will put you down and do anything to make you feel inferior;
- Having a negative outlook and low self-esteem/lack of confidence;
- Being dominant in domestic arrangements;
- Be aggressive and show an unreasonable attitude towards minor details.
One of the hardest things for women to recognize in a man is mistaking traits like confidence, determination, persistence, and ambition for aggressive behavior due to a lack of confidence. When a man shows persistence due to insecurity and jealousy, he can become a recipe for disaster in the relationship stage. At the dating stage, this person seems charming and charismatic. However, once a relationship is established, this person begins to believe that he will lose his partner, since he BELIEVES in himself that he does not deserve to be loved.
Confronting the jealous partner
Before you decide to confront the jealous partner, you need to decide whether or not the relationship is salvageable. You can do this in a number of ways, but I highly recommend some of the articles here! Personally, I have found that recharging and reconnecting with my goals is a good way to get to my root. Once I do that, I can easily identify those people who care about my goals and dreams.
Then, once I know that, I can pick the people who have the potential to support me and the ones I can rule out. For fellow supporters, have a conversation with them that provides feedback and constructive criticism. This feedback can explain in detail how what they say makes you feel.
The five steps to confront your partner
- Set the stage: (be positive) “Let’s honor/rekindle/reconnect our relationship and I’d like to be truthful/honest/upright with you.” She wouldn’t start by saying, “You have a problem / you know what your problem is / what your problem is”
- Explain how you feel – When you do/say _______, it makes me feel ___________
- Ask: Would you be willing to stop saying/acting/doing _____________?
- Listen – Listen to their response and try to detect or determine sincerity. An honest answer will be one that appreciates your feelings and your courage to say something. If the other person objects, blames you, or makes fun of/criticizes you, then consider that person an idiot and disassociate yourself or continue with a toxic relationship.
- Summarize then reaffirm: Repeat their response and acknowledge that you heard them and repeat your concern and consequences. For example, “I’m glad you’re willing to change your ________ behavior to/from me that makes me feel like ____________. Or if the toxic behavior continues, say “I’m sorry we can’t come to an understanding. “Since this really affects my feelings and is very important to me and it seems that you do not agree, I think that continuing this relationship is not a supportive and supportive environment for me and I have to separate.”