Erotic massage is a wonderful way to relax, connect, and explore pleasure with a lover or close friend. On the path of Tantra, we enjoy coming together to honor and celebrate the body as a temple of delight. This experience will allow you to explore erotic energy in new ways and is also a wonderful prelude to lovemaking. Know six benefits of erotic massage.
Preparation
Prepare a warm, quiet, and comfortable place where you will not be disturbed for the next 2 hours. Make sure all phones are turned off. Light some candles and put on relaxing and romantic music.
The greeting of the heart
Begin with the Salutation to the Heart. It is an ancient tantric practice to recognize the Divine in each one as they enter sacred time. Sit across from your partner and look him in the eye. Maintain eye contact throughout the rest of the process. Extend your arms toward the ground, palms together. Inhale and, keeping them together, bring your hands to your heart. Exhale, as you lean forward and acknowledge the Divine in each one. Inhale as you straighten up. Finally, exhale as you allow your hands to return to the starting position, pointing toward the ground.
The bubble
The Bubble calls you into present moment awareness and creates a safe space in which to offer an erotic massage. Make a bubble around you and your partner with your arms so that it goes around both of you. Remove things from the bubble that won’t help this process (the past, distractions, anger, worry, etc.). Do this with a gesture, as if physically removing an object, while saying out loud what you are removing. Next, bring things into your bubble that will enhance your connection (Love, willingness, Presence, trust, etc.) Again, use gestures and spoken words. Here are two examples:
“I release the past.”
“I call passion.”
Share your desires, fears and limits
Once the bubble is created, share your desires, fears and limits related to giving and/or receiving an erotic massage. One person speaks while the other listens, without judging or commenting. Then switch roles. Here is an example:
“My wish is to stay connected to erotic energy.”
“My fear is that I might fall asleep and you’ll feel hurt or disappointed.”
“My limit is to finish this practice at 11 pm.”
healthy limits
People often think of boundaries as walls. Healthy boundaries are actually bridges that bring people together. Intimacy arises when healthy boundaries are respected. You feel safe, you are open and present. Limits may change, so check in periodically to see how you feel. If your limit has changed, tell your partner. Please don’t expect them to read your mind.
Giving an Erotic Massage
Decide who will give and who will receive. Invite the recipient to lie face down on a massage table, bed, or blanket on the floor. Make sure they are warm and comfortable. The giver then grounds himself and gently places his hands on the receiver. Recognize that this is a unique opportunity to honor and serve your loved one. Tune in with the receiver. One way to tune in is to breathe with them for a few minutes.
Begin to wake up his skin by gently stroking it with feathers, fur, or your fingertips. When you’re ready, cover his body with warm oil. Use long, slow massage strokes. You are massaging more than the surface of his body. You are connecting with them on multiple levels. Encourage them to take deep breaths, make sounds, and move their bodies. This allows the body’s energy to awaken, move and release. Use different parts of your body – your hair, arms and chest – to massage your partner. Be playful, curious and creative.
About halfway through the allotted time, invite the recipient to turn around. Massage the front of his body with warm oil, again in long strokes. He presents the sound in a new way by toning his body, using sounds like Ahh, Yumm or Omm. This can be a powerful tool to activate your energy body partners.
When he feels ready, offer to explore his genitals. At SkyDancing Tantra we call the vagina “Yoni” which means “Cosmic Womb” and the penis “Vajra” which means “Lightning”. Start on the outside of the genitals with oil. At first, be gentle and go slowly. Give them time to release any tension in the area. Listen to your body. Watch them respond and get excited. Focus on what gives them pleasure. Try different strokes. Once again, be creative. If you are going to do an internal massage, use a water-based lubricant. How much pleasure can they afford? Are they open to exploring the possibility of multiple orgasms?
Close by bringing together and connecting your heart centers with love, compassion and gratitude. Help them sit down and end with a Salutation to the Heart. Offer them water or juice to drink and a piece of chocolate or fruit to eat. You may want to share what this experience was like for you. What was it like to give and/or receive this way?
Six benefits of erotic massage are:
1) Awakens the senses and activates the healing of the entire body.
2) It allows you to explore pleasure in new and creative ways.
3) Use eye contact, connected breathing, and touch to enhance intimacy.
4) Create a conscious connection between the giver and the receiver.
5) Use breath, sound and movement to arouse full body orgasm.
6) Dissolve the illusion of separation and allow Oneness to emerge.