As a culture, we don’t really learn global etiquette. The way our society is still largely structured, we don’t see the need for universal courtesy. We as Indians are still not very far from the strictly regulated feudal system (Zamindari) or the immediately established independent “Government”. And it worked well for about 70 years. However, it makes us dysfunctional and maladjusted in the new globalized and e-centric corporate world order. It’s bad enough here at home, where socioeconomic changes have blurred the old boundaries of categorization, replacing them with new, and still unknown categories of class and professionalism. But it becomes a total handicap when traveling abroad, working abroad or dealing with foreign colleagues / friends / superiors in India, something that today’s young managers and tomorrow’s leaders must do more and more.
Traditionally, the modes of behavior of each sector of society, with respect to ascending and descending social relations, were strictly defined. Lateral social behavior was mainly left to the person. But since lateral social relationships were almost entirely confined within extended family-business circles, it was not so important. There was no need to pay particular attention to courtesy and manners, and the rules on “how to behave around those older / younger than you” easily provided all the necessary guidelines. When the circles expanded, to include not only non-community members, not family members, but also non-nationals or former nationals, things changed and suddenly the label started to matter. Today, one of the main factors preventing Indian employees from breaking the international glass ceiling is global manners.
However, there was and is no formal training in etiquette at the school level. These new laws of global social behavior are also not taught at home. As a result, most of us make a big mistake. Some of us have rubbed shoulders with international environments long enough to realize how important etiquette is. Therefore, they try to learn on their own, from various sources, including soft skills classes. However, most still don’t seem to care or bother. Not only can this ruin their impression and deprive them of global opportunities, it also gives the entire “Indian” community a bad name around the world, negatively affecting the prospects for future generations.
So what do we do wrong? It can be as basic as not knowing when to use Hello versus Hi. For example, most “me” Indians have abandoned Hello entirely, even in formal situations. While this is generally approved in the local context, in the case of an overseas shipment, interview, etc., it can ruin the impression. Hello is for friends, intimate circles, family, informal situations. In an interview, or when someone “important” is introduced to you, it just doesn’t work! Hello is the only greeting for formal or important occasions.
We also don’t have a basic etiquette concept when someone asks “how are you” or “how are you”. First of all, how many people realize that “how are you” is not a question? If someone says “how are you” it is a greeting … like hello … they are not asking about your health or your life, so don’t tell them. The correct answer is “how are you”. If someone says it, you say it. On the other hand, if someone says “how are you” or “how are you”, you respond with “I’m fine / very well / well, thank you”. Nor is it an invitation to leave your problems to the investigator. It’s just a formality.
With our feudal heritage, another thing we never learned was to say please and thank you. Lower orders are CREATED to serve higher orders, so where is the matter of thanking them? So we usually come across very rude and rude people. We never say please when placing a food order, for example, nor do we thank the waiter for bringing us water, food, or anything. After all, we rationalize, it’s your job! Well, etiquette doesn’t care if it’s their job, if someone does something for you, no matter how trivial, you thank them; If you WANT someone to do something for you, no matter how trivial, say please.
Let’s not forget the famous Indian standard time syndrome. It seems that we do not understand the concept of punctuality. And, while being late for a party or hanging out with friends may not be a big deal (although it’s excruciatingly rude, especially if it’s a recurring phenomenon), the same arrogant attitude over time, in the case of a meeting or For an interview, it can have serious effects on a person’s career and overall reputation. The immense amount of irritation that it will create in the one who has to wait will not do any good for your life or career. Whether it’s from traffic, the inability to get dressed quickly or whatever, plan ahead. It’s a good idea to arrive at least 15 minutes early rather than even five minutes late.
There are other things to practice. Simple things, like holding the door for someone. Or the ability to calmly queue for anything! Given any situation where an orderly queue is required, be it at a ticket counter, the bank, the bus stop, or wherever, Indians will invariably all try to get to the counter at once, or at least look over the shoulders of others and pressing forward for a better view of the procedures, subjecting others not only to various jostling and body odors, but also considerably slowing down the basic process itself. And by international standards of polite social behavior, invading someone else’s space like that is an absolute NO-NO!
Wait a few seconds to let older or disabled people pass. Offer your seat to an elderly person, a pregnant woman, or someone with disabilities, on a bus or train. Practice basic table and social manners. Don’t push, sneeze, cough, burp and burp in public, and if you do, cover your mouth and excuse me. Do not chew your food with your mouth wide open, or pick chicken scraps from between your teeth with a toothpick, without feeling the slightest need to cover the open hole. In a supermarket, park your carts out of the way and not in the middle of the aisle while browsing the shelves on both sides. Do not block the entire stretch for others. Do not allow children to run loose, gunning against people, carts, and shelves, and shoving attendees off a wall. Locking out an entire shelf while six people are participating in a “family conference” on which brand of coffee to buy is rude. If you don’t reach above people’s shoulders, or under their arms, to grab things. In restaurants, speak quietly, don’t let kids run around behaving heinously, and control the decibel blast while having a phone conversation. Turn off your phones or put them on silence in a movie theater or theater show.
Don’t be nosy or overly familiar. A French friend of mine, a woman of a certain age, always found it extremely offensive for Indians, after half an hour of friendship, to ask her why she was not married yet and if she was dating someone. This is a common problem. Culturally, we place so much importance on marriage and have so few boundaries that we don’t realize how personal such an issue is to the rest of the world. A close friend might ask something like that, but not a passing acquaintance or someone in a more formal social situation! Along the same lines, a couple, married for about four years, always complained that everyone not only asked why they didn’t have children, but also assumed there was a problem and offered a plethora of unwanted advice. The idea that a couple “choose” to wait a while before childbearing, or “choose” not to have children seems to be something that we cannot understand, and we must learn to regress.
The list is practically endless, so many little things that we do unconsciously, due to our total unfamiliarity with the principle of courtesy and basic civic sense, but they all affect the way people around the world look at us, deal with us. and they feel around it. us. Seemingly small, tiny things can leave a bad taste in the mouth of the visitor or foreign colleague. It ranges from the way we speak, what we say, to body language and “curiosity.” Considering that India is trying its best to become a world power, and Indians are becoming more and more “limitless”, this is simply not enough! As young managers and leaders of tomorrow in a global work culture in a shrinking world, it’s time to pay a little attention to how we present ourselves to the world and how we interact with its members. So do your research, pay attention, and learn. Consciously perform good etiquette until it becomes second nature. That is the only way to be successful in a globally connected world!