After twenty years of research, the formula for success has been discovered! A new book, Positivity, has two exciting and interrelated ideas that will increase your family’s satisfaction and happiness. The author, Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, is a leading researcher at the forefront of the Positive Psychology movement.
Great Concept #1: The positivity ratio of 3:1. “We need three positive emotions to get us up for every negative emotion that brings us down,” says Fredrickson. Respectful, kind, and encouraging words can stop a downward spiral and activate an upward spiral, with greater satisfaction and happiness. This 3:1 ratio of positive to negative emotions is necessary to generate the uplifting and expansive growth of the “Expand and Build” theory.
Great Concept #2: The “expand and build” theory explains that the increase in positive emotions creates an upward and outward spiral. That’s because positive emotions lead people to be more open, expansive, creative, and flexible. People become healthier, more resilient, and have better relationships as a result of more positive emotions. Science has given us answers to the question: “What are good emotions for?”
The founder of Positive Psychology, Professor Martin Seligman Ph.D., takes this concept a step further, stating that “positive emotions undo negative emotions.” The 3:1 method can actually stop a downward spiral to start an upward spiral of “good things getting better” and even undo negativity in the process. Try this on your family. Introduce and maintain lots of positive activities (comfort, support, encouragement, and play) and watch what happens.
So if you ever feel like you’ve screwed up (when you yell at your kids, for example), remember the 3:1 ratio. If you consciously give them three positive messages, they can stay focused on your love and your family will move up and out.
Finally, Dr. Fredrickson suggests simple ways to be positive: “Slightly create the positivity mindset: be open, be appreciative, be curious, be kind, but most of all, be real.”