“How far you go in life depends on whether you are tender with the young, compassionate with the elderly, understanding with those who struggle, and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because one day in your life you will have been all of these.” –George Washington Carver
The word amiability consists of two syllables–TYPE Y NESS. TYPE It means forgiving, affectionate, friendly, understanding or helpful in nature, gentle, merciful, and tender. NESS it is a suffix meaning state, condition, quality or degree. When the two syllables are combined they result in the following definition: KINDNESS: The quality or state of being caring, considerate, humane, and compassionate.
Numerous scientific studies have shown that being kind has important benefits for physical, mental and emotional health:
- Maintains good health and lessens the effect of disease.
- Endorphins or natural painkillers and a physical feeling of euphoria are released, leading to greater emotional well-being.
- Stress-related problems, including depression, tend to improve after doing kind acts.
- Self-esteem and feelings of optimism and happiness are enhanced.
- The immune system is strengthened and physical pain decreases.
Wouldn’t you like to reap these physical, mental and emotional benefits? If so, be kind to yourself!
How to be kind to yourself
A very dear friend of mine likes to say: “A change is as good as a break.” She does little things to be kind to herself, like changing her shoes after a long day at work, putting on a pair of slippers or walking shoes, and then starting the next activity with renewed energy and enthusiasm. Imagine my surprise when I decided to try this piece of homemade wisdom. She was right! I began to change my shoes or clothes, particularly after very intense or stressful activities, and also became energized and refreshed!
Do things differently for a change it’s as good as a break. So here are 25 ways you can be kind to yourself, make small changes in your life, and rest in the process:
- Celebrate your accomplishments and any small successes you achieve this week. Buy a birthday cake, light the candles and throw a solo party, even if it’s not your birthday.
- Don’t dwell too much on your moments of failure. We all have them. They make us grow stronger. Learn from them to increase your chances of future success.
- Send each other some flowers, a card or buy a small inexpensive gift. Don’t forget to wrap the gift. When you unwrap it, express your delight and pleasure vocally as you savor the moment.
- Each week, plan a special meal. Set the table with your fine linens, fine china, stemware, and utensils (instead of paper plates, cups, napkins, and plastic forks).
- Take a REAL vacation, you know, the old fashioned way where cell phones, emails, wireless, etc. are prohibited!
- Pop some popcorn, kick back in your favorite chair with your feet up, and watch your favorite TV show or DVD.
- Take a long, relaxing walk. Reflect on the landscape and the environment around you. Notice small things like a blade of grass or the shape of a leaf.
- Set aside at least 10-15 minutes each day to spend on yourself, in whatever way you choose. Put it on your calendar to make sure it gets done.
- Make yourself a cup of green or herbal tea and sit quietly thinking about the fun things you’d like to do. Put these ideas on paper and act.
- Bring a CD player to work and gently play classical music in the background while you work on reports, presentations, or read through the volumes of documents you receive each day.
- Get enough sleep (the amount that is right for you).
- Take a bike ride through a field or park.
- Head to the spa for a manicure, pedicure, or massage.
- Read for fun: a novel, poetry, short story. Avoid business books or academic treatises.
- Laugh a lot, especially if you have a hard time doing it. See the good mood in nature: two squirrels fighting over an acorn, a duck walking towards a pond, etc.
- Start writing in a personal journal. Record as many positive thoughts, actions, everything that is beautiful about you.
- Restart your hobbies. Pull out old unfinished projects or just start a new one.
- Get a checkup and physical exam. Implement the necessary strategies to promote good health. Take vitamins and other supplements to keep your energy at its most productive level.
- Get a new haircut or style.
- Organize your closet or drawers. Take on a sock or lingerie drawer; hold a tag sale, or donate your materials, furniture and clothing that are in good condition.
- Take a different route to work. Get off autopilot and look at the cars and people around you.
- Build a new relationship with a coworker, an acquaintance, or someone who shares your interests.
- Do your best to do something kind and compassionate for yourself.
- Respect yourself. Refuse to scold, put down, or belittle yourself.
- Forgive yourself. Accept the fact that you are not perfect. Choose to move on instead of getting stuck in the past or repeating a mistake you made over and over in your mind.
Have fun with this. There are many more things you can do to be kind to yourself. Make your own list and when you complete each item on it, start a new one.
The point is that you should plan to do something nice for yourself and then stick to that plan. Our lives are too busy these days to drop it randomly or whenever you feel like it. You never will, you know. In any case, enjoy the items on this list and begin to experience better health and increased vitality. Being nice to yourself will ultimately result in you being nice to others.