There is one thing in your life that you wish for on a daily basis, but right now it feels like a distant dream. You want to get married and the man you plan to marry doesn’t seem to be on the same page as you. Your boyfriend is more than happy to be your boyfriend, even though you feel like it’s time to take things to the next level and start your journey as husband and wife. Maybe you’ve tried some not-so-subtle clues to move him in the direction of a wedding. Leaving the wedding magazines out in the open or describing in detail the exact engagement ring you want might seem like a great way to get her to ask the ultimate question. Unfortunately, those things won’t get you anything more than a pressured boyfriend. If you’re wondering whether or not you can convince him to marry you, the answer depends on a wide variety of variables.
Think about her reaction when you talk about marriage
How does your boyfriend react when you start a discussion that focuses on the subject of marriage? Does he look excited? Does he actively participate in the conversation or immediately change the subject? You can tell a lot about where a man’s mind is regarding the idea of a serious commitment by how he handles an unexpected conversation about it. If he’s open to discussing the idea of marriage, he’s definitely on the same page as you. In this case, it’s important that you don’t make it a daily part of your conversation, but instead bring it up from time to time and focus on things like how big of a wedding he envisions and when he expects it to take place. If he integrates it into their conversations without making it the only focus, he’ll see it as something you’re both thinking about, and it will help him feel more comfortable choosing a date and choosing an engagement ring in the near future.
In the case of a man who abruptly changes the subject when you start talking about marriage, that’s a whole different topic to deal with. He has no interest in even discussing a more serious commitment, so it would be hard to get him to want to marry you at this stage.
Evaluate your reasons for hesitating to make a commitment
Any man who shies away from marriage has at least one solid reason for doing so. For some men it’s because they don’t feel like they have their finances in order. Other men are terrified that they may be choosing the wrong partner and will eventually have to face a bitter divorce. Usually this is felt by a man who witnessed a brutal divorce in his own home as a child. You have to determine what is causing him to back off when you talk about commitment.
Many men will avoid discussing what is causing their fear and instead blame timing. They will say that they are too young for marriage or that they are not ready to make such a serious commitment. If the two of you have been dating for some time, you need to judge whether waiting even longer will fit your own timeline of what you hope to achieve in your life.
Decide where your own future path should take you
If you feel like your boyfriend is committed to you and will eventually marry you, you need to establish when that might happen. Have a frank and open discussion with him about it. Explain, very directly, when you expect to have an engagement and why you feel it needs to happen by then. Many women live with the mistaken impression that not all men enjoy talking about relationships and where they are headed. The truth is, many men are open to that as long as the woman is upfront and honest about what she wants. In this case, she can explain to her man that she envisions the two of them building their lives together within a certain period of time. Listen to their thoughts on the matter, and then find a compromise that works for both of you if you’re not completely on the same page.
Dealing with a man who has little to no interest in marriage is a whole different story. In this case, you probably won’t be successful if you try to convince him to marry you, and honestly, do you really want to be with a man who needs to be convinced that you are the right woman for him?
You need to think about what is best for you emotionally and that could mean that you have to take a break from him and the stagnant relationship for a while. Explain to him that you just need time to think about what you want out of life. Taking a step back will not only give you the space you need to assess whether holding out hope that he commits is in your best interest. Also, time apart can help your boyfriend really see that he needs you as an essential part of his life. It may be enough for him to drop to his knees and ask you to be his wife.
Regardless of the outcome of a short-term break, it’s important that you stick with what you want out of your life. If that is a man who wants to be your husband, that is what you should be looking for. Never underestimate yourself when it comes to love and commitment. You deserve everything you want and expect for your own future.