Have you ever felt that your partner speaks a totally different language than yours? Men and women really do speak different languages. I’m going to help you better understand that the brain chemistry of a man and a woman make the same words very different. By doing so, it can help you learn each other’s language a little better and thus improve communication. Better communication can lead to better relationships!
There are two key differences between male and female communication. Gender brain chemistry creates this difference in communication. For men, communication is usually used to solve the problem and get the task done. On the other hand, for a woman, communication is useful for much more. For example, communication for the woman may be a way to solve a problem and/or minimize stress for her by increasing her oxytocin, thus helping her feel better. She may also use communication to bond emotionally, strengthen relationships, stimulate her creative side, or even as a means of self-discovery.
This simple distinction can cause a lot of stress in a relationship if not understood. It has helped many of my clients understand that men and women really do speak two different languages. If you take the time to understand each other’s language, there can be peace, harmony and understanding, where before there could be mistrust, animosity and even hatred, all because of a lack of understanding.
When the man talks and is very matter-of-fact and generally gets right to the point, he is not being rude or bossy. That’s the way his brain is wired to talk. His brain chemistry makes them ponder things in their “caveman time” quietly and usually alone. Then, when the problem is “solved”, they talk or take action. A male brain is wired to solve the problem and complete the task.
On the other hand, the woman likes to talk about the problem along with fifty ways it could be solved. She has an idea of what the consensus is, even if she doesn’t go with the consensus to solve the problem. She will have made it feel good to talk about it, discuss it, and maybe even think about it and discuss it a few more times. She keeps in mind that even as she discusses the issue at hand, her female brain has 50-100 other fires that are just as hot and need to be put out as the fire she is currently tending to.