Maybe there was something to be said for the teacher talking to Charlie Brown. Perhaps she had thoughtful, meaningful words to say, important points some might have learned from, but all she heard was: mwa, mwa-mwa, mwa, mwa.
What is it that makes us hear certain things but not others? What makes us long to hear the voice of one person and despise the sound of another? Is it what they are saying? Is it the sound of your voice? Or is it their intentions as they speak? I understand as a parent that it is impossible to raise two children in exactly the same way. I understand that there are variables that do not allow you to be the same person for each child. That while the firstborn is raised as an only child, the other has to deal with another personality in the house. I understand that not only sibling factors come into play, but as parents we continue to change over time. I understand that the things that bothered us with the firstborn are hilarious for the second child and that the things that were once “big” problems with the firstborn seem irrelevant by the time the next child is born.
Yet even with all that knowledge, you do your best as a parent to say the same things to each child, even with the same inflection in your voice. It’s not easy, given the different personalities, but what makes it even more difficult is that they don’t listen to you in the same way. While one child receives everything you say with an open ear, the other only listens to nuisances. While one listens to information from a loving part, the other child listens to it while he tries to simply control them. But why? Is it in the way you give or is it just the way you receive it? And the most important question… how do you get heard in a way that really matters?
Maybe we put too much emphasis on what we think matters, when in reality none of it matters. What if it’s not really about the grades they received on their report card? What if it’s not about how clean your room is? What if the things we complain about don’t really make a lifelong difference? And if that’s the case, then what does it matter?
The best athletes, important political figures and even the ones with important things to say, the award winners… they seem as important as their names are obvious. But what happens afterward, when the fame has faded?
The truth is that the people who make a difference in our lives are not the ones with the most credentials or the most money, but simply the ones who care the most. So instead of getting bogged down thinking about what words would sound better, stop and think about what really matters in the current situation and how you can get that message across. Speak from the heart, make a difference, and speak in a way that will be heard.