As we get older, we often quickly forget the struggles we faced as teenagers. Although many of us vowed decades ago not to become like our parents, somehow fate made us embrace exactly what we once despised. Now, with our own children, their behavior seems strange and we panic. Instead of conquering our desire to be our children’s role models and best friends, we find ourselves struggling to maintain a solid influence in their lives. Sounds familiar?
Tracing the steps that led to my rebellion as a young man and dealing with my own teenage children, I was able to discover some actionable parenting tips for maintaining my parental influence and blocking the wiles of opposing peer pressure. The key to my success has been fostering my children’s desire to be successful and independent.
Think about it. Many of us couldn’t wait to come of age so we wouldn’t have to listen to our parents and explore life on our own. Our children are no different! In their minds, our rules are simply set up to keep them from having fun. They believe that when they finally get out on their own, the good times will begin.
Often when we stifle our children and enforce too many strict rules, we cause them to rebel. Worse yet, when they finally break free, they go berserk! This rebellious behavior in many cases is extremely destructive. To avoid this tragic fate, we must build trust and foster maturity and independence in our children.
I found it more helpful to assess my children and discover their deepest desires and dreams. Regardless of how far apart these dreams were from my own expectations, I embraced them and decided to help them establish a plan of action to reach their goals. Nothing has been more rewarding than seeing the glow on my children’s faces when they saw that I genuinely embraced and supported their dreams and was able to provide helpful advice in addressing their desires. During our countless hours of planning, I have been able to establish trust while fostering a sense of pride and independence within them.
Working together on life projects with your children will ultimately bring you closer together. It will be amazing to see how many similar gifts and talents they have inherited from you. Spending quality time working on a project that they are excited about gives you the opportunity to see your children open up and express who they really are, without worrying about being rejected or judged.
Be confident in your parenting abilities and never argue with yourself. If he has done his job of instilling morals and values in his children, they will finally land on their feet, no matter what! Be open and allow them to explore. Let them know that you trust them and believe in them. As you show your support for their independence, they will eventually embrace you more.
You want to know what is really going on in your children’s lives and what really motivates them. Sit down and have a conversation today about collaborating with them on a project they will enjoy. Teach them how to set goals, how to research and find answers, and how to persevere despite adversity. I guarantee that they will take your advice and you will build a strong and healthy relationship that will last for many years to come. Put this simple tip into practice and you will turn an awkward relationship into a close bond that breeds success!